I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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