Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
