dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
