i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
