my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
