ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
