Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think I won the penis lottery.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honey bunches of taint.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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