Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize