You're my little dorito
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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