What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
