My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Randomize
