so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
