So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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