just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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