i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
