i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
