Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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