I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
