i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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