I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
