Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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