Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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