remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
