How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dick very happy bro
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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