My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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