im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
