I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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