I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
