Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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