READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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