Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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