I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
