you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
