I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
love makes seman taste better
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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