you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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