my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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