So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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