my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
