I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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