Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
