So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He? As in you personified your dick?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
