And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
