Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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