So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
