I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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