What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
