this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
