we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dicks are not precious.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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