He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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