Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
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