It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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