1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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