Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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