he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
