these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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