On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
