Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
