Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
