He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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