Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
