If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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