filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
